The Happiness Project

Mom would like for us to write a quick review of the books we read in 2013 on here, so I thought I would start things off with the very first book I finished this year: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

Although this book was very repetitive, I loved it. I loved the passages on de-cluttering, not nagging your husband, enjoying the moment, singing in the morning, taking time to be silly, not gossiping, gratitude, meditation, laughing out loud, giving positive reviews, and so forth. Much of the book I could identify with what I've learned in church since infancy so it rang very true to me. Some of my favorite phrases were:

• "Act the way I want to feel."
• Often if we pretend we are happy or enthusiastic we will actually become this way.
• "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do."
• "What's fun for other people may not be fun for you - and vice versa."
• "Beeee yourself." (Genie from Aladdin)
• "Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy."
• But sometimes the memories or the effects of your actions pay off in the long run!
• And my personal favorite: "The days are long, but the years are short." 
• Here are two of my favorite quotes from the book on this subject:

"Most nights, I spent the time before bed racing around, trying to get organized for the morning, or crashed in bed with a book. But Jamie has a lovely habit. We call it "gazing lovingly." Every few weeks, he'll say to me, "Come on, let's gaze lovingly," and we go look at Eliza and Eleanor as they sleep.

The other night he pulled me away from the computer. "No, I've got too much to do, " I told him. "I need to finish a few things before tomorrow. You go ahead."

But he wouldn't listen, so finally I went with him to stand in Eleanor's doorway. We "gazed lovingly" at her small figure flung across the huge pile of books that she insisted on keeping in her crib.

I said to him, "Someday we'll look back and it will be hard to remember that we ever had such little kids. We'll say, 'Remember when Eleanor still used her purple sippy cut or when Eliza wore ruby slippers all the time?'"

He squeezed my hand. "We'll say, 'That was such a happy time.'"

The days are long, but the years are short."

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Towards the end of her project people kept asking her if her husband, Jamie, had changed from it. He claims he is the same, but she argues, "But he had changed. Without any nagging on my part he was taking on tasks, such as holiday shopping or putting our finances on Quicken, that he'd never done before. He was much better about doing little chores like answering my e-mails and emptying the diaper pail now than he'd been a year ago. Not only did he remember my birthday this month... he organized a family party, got me a present, and took photos (he never takes photos). He'd absorbed more of my happiness talk than I'd realized..."

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These two passages reminded me of a discussion I had with Mom during Christmas vacation. She was asking me about some of the little projects I do for Joe throughout the year and I told her that I knew as a wife I would be much happier if, instead of hoping that Joe would read my mind and make big gestures for me, I would take my ideas and do them for him. As insignificant as they are they make his days brighter and make me happier because I am focusing on him and doing something I know he will love.

She asked me, "What if he never starts to do big gestures for you?" Well, I didn't really have an answer then, but after reading the above passages I think that people really do want to reciprocate actions. If I set a precedent that I will do these things, Joe will start to think about similar things he can do for me. "If you give a little love you can get a little love of your own."

Alright, sorry for the big long blog post and that I can sound so preachy! I know a lot of it isn't even about the book, but these are the types of things that came to my mind while I was reading it and for me they represent what the book was about. In the end I do want to do a Happiness Project someday, but not right now. However, different parts of the book have inspired me while making my New Years resolutions and I think that a large part of happiness is following through with our commitments and always feeling like we are progressing and growing. 

Good luck with your New Years Resolutions! We can all be anything that we want to be!